there's only so much you can write about when you limit yourself to writing about being a trash, broke millennial designer who doesn't do much other than work, eat, sleep, fuck, make stuff, and watch TV. especially when you feel like you should only write about certain things because that's what you feel comfortable doing, but there's so much more you want to explore. i write a lot about the things i WANT to do, and live in this little space of this is what i'm doing right now, and this is what i want to be doing. of course, i want to save money and travel and have a little space of our own with my love and get a pet and sell art. i want those things but those things take a long time to get, and i am happy with where i am at the moment, slowly working towards these things. i've always written things i feel like i need to get out, things that might help someone or just make me feel less alone in how i'm feeling. i like to get vulnerable, because if i wasn't vulnerable i would just be writing for the sake of writing. i like to write about the things i feel i can't articulate in any other setting, in the same way i like to paint or draw to express or improve how i'm feeling.
this space is called the work in progress journal because it's where i get to develop as a person. i do my living, very quietly these days, and then i think about it and i make art and i write. if my life were to revolve around adventures i'd write about those. if my life still revolved around fitness i'd write about that.
i'm not quite sure what my life revolves around these days, there's no one big thing that makes me go yep that's IT. it's lots of little things that add up, like painting in the sun and watering my plants and lying on the couch with my legs wrapped around my boyfriend while he plays the guitar with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. it's filling my spare time with things i genuinely like to do and not whatever i think 'being productive is.' it's reading writing making and consuming things for my own pleasure and not specifically a frantic search for 'inspiration' because i've told myself i have to make something new today.
it's basically a whole lot of doing things i like to do, for me. some of those things include sex- doing it, thinking about it, learning more about it. not many of my thoughts these days are cohesive so bear with me. but here's what i've been thinking lately- i wanna start writing about it. life, sex, art, love & other trash, pieced together in a most likely un-cohesive, slapdash manner kinda written the way i'd talk to my best friends but kinda written the way the alter ego in my head who is a lot hotter, smarter, and better at life. it might get gross, it will almost definitely be cringey, it probably wasn't worth a half assed rebrand, but i'm in my 23rd year of swirling through the abyss that is life and honestly i don't have that much left to lose or prove to anyone so i may as well be honest, self indulgent, and have fun right?
so here we go. something for me to get excited about. getting to share more personal things, developing new art to go with it, and not feeling like there's a disconnect between what i write about and who i am. and hopefully a few things that can start conversations. hoping you'll come along for the ride.